Self Worth-

Self Worth - Worth Working On




As humans we all have certain needs,some external and some internal and all affect the feeling of self worth.


One thing is for sure is that we cannot change how others see us but this desire to have others see us in a good light can often causes us the most distress and frustration.
To be loved,admired or esteemed by others determines to an extent what we feel about our self worth.

If you look at the commodities markets like Gold and Oil, their value or worth rises and falls but the product itself remains constant. 


Does anyone else find that strange ?


I know it all has to do with various factors like supply and demand but imagine that was a person and your self worth fluctuated so rapidly, what effect do you think it would have on someone's emotions ?


This is exactly was occurs for some, when their perceived value or worth relies upon actions or words of another !


If there was a switch which you could turn off which prevented you from being affected by what others thought or said about you, would you be interested in flicking it ?
Imagine waking up one day and still being you but without the worry of trying to please or fit in with anyone else. Imagine the release and power and control you would suddenly have over your life.
This is why your self worth is worth working on and begins by loving yourself for everything you are, the good... and the not so good :).


Why should anyone else determine your happiness ?
What right does anyone else have to your life ?


Start by taking small steps to improve your self worth by first writing down the times you feel most vulnerable and insecure.

Brian Tracy and the six elements of self esteem building.

Check out his blog and discover the six elements to self esteem building


http://www.briantracy.com/blog/business-success/the-six-elements-of-self-esteem-building/

7 Steps To Soaring Self Esteem- by Dr Joe Rubino - Free copy

When the mind is working, it usually operates in one of three states; the past, the
present and the future.

Today I want to ask you one question about each:

	Looking back at your past, can you honestly say that you have leveraged every single experience to your benefit?
	Looking at the present, are you completely satisfied with your life as it is right now?
	Looking at the future, are you confident that things will only get better?

If you answered anything other than an "Absolute Yes" to any one of these questions then you have arrived at the right place

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WHERE DO OUR BELIEFS COME FROM?

That silent voice inside your head that nobody in the world can hear except you.


The thought,a belief......


So where exactly have you got this from, and why have you chosen to support it ?


Our beliefs stem from basically 5 sources.

• The Environment around us, such as T.V ,newspapers and the internet.
• Creative Thinking, the brain lies to us as it cannot distinguish between reality externally and internal thought.
• Past Experiences, how and where we grew up.
• Our Education,if you studied a subject in depth you may have developed new beliefs.
• Events In Our Lives,our own results from doing a particular action.

What beliefs do you hold on these famous brands?

Look at these brands..what beliefs do you hold about them, and how have you come to that decision?

If we become more aware of the source of our beliefs,it becomes possible to choose to think differently about ourselves and others.




Once we choose to think differently, we tend to act in a different way too.

"There are two primary choices in life;to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them"-

 Dr Denis Waitley


If we are able to see how shallow our beliefs can be,we also change our beliefs of how we see ourselves.

Self esteem and confidence

Hi there, Arran here,welcome to my blog.

Before I understood the symptoms of low self esteem and confidence I didn't realize that I had suffered from anything...I thought it was natural to feel that way. SO...What is self esteem

How do you know if you suffer from a lack of confidence or low self esteem?

There isn’t some light that flashes on or nasty rash that appears when you do is there! Family or friends won’t hit you with it over Sunday lunch or a night down the pub will they? Even if you do believe you do, you wouldn’t stand up in front of your friends or work colleagues and pronounce ‘My name is Arran and I suffer from low self esteem ' would you!

You may appear very ‘normal’ to the outside world, have a good job, relationship and family but inside you can feel there is something adrift;a fear or a deep rooted self criticism which you carry around, like a stone. Your low confidence may not manifest itself in every situation, at work you may be the powerhouse, go getter, someone who everyone wishes they could be. Out of work though, you may struggle to form relationships, and maintain them or have the confidence to go new places. Being out of your comfort zone may fill you will dread and self doubt, you may worry about what others think of you and feel like your constantly acting to try and please .

Wherever it appears, be assured that you are not alone.
Many people go through their whole lives just accepting, resigned to the feeling of ‘that’s just how it is’. They miss opportunities of love, success, growth and harmony while they struggle to maintain the equilibrium between 'The Fear' and really living. If you feel you may lack self confidence, check through the following questions and see which ones best suits your behaviour. It may be some, it may be several, the point is, to begin to identify the situations and slowly work on those areas.

• Would you say you were a risk taker, or do you prefer to stay within your comfort zone for fear of failure?
• Are your choices your own, or do you let yourself be swayed by those around you and their expectations?
• Are you comfortable to admit to mistakes, or do you try and hide them in fear of embarrassment?
• Do you accept compliments easily, or do you play them down?
• Are you comfortable telling people your strengths or would you rather tell them how rubbish you are at things?

This short series of questions will not conclusively prove you have low self esteem, though perhaps they may help you recognize the areas in which you are allowing your confidence to dip.
Realizing you may suffer from low self esteem or confidence is the first step to changing the path you are on. Then like anything, be it a hobby, relationship, job or a dream, it is down to you to take responsibility, put in the effort and look for a solution.


Warmest wishes
Arran

Just say ‘No’ for higher self esteem and confidence.

Hi, its Arran here, could you just do me a favour? How many times have you said ‘YES’ to someone, when all you really wanted to say was a big fat ‘NO’? At work, to a friend or in a relationship it happens all the time doesn’t it? The next question is then…WHY do we do it, when it often causes us hardship or pain, puts us in difficult position or worse still makes us feel bad about ourselves. The answer is that we want people to accept us, like us or love us. By doing so are they thinking of us or themselves, and if they are thinking of themselves then do we really want or need their acceptance anyway? Be aware that it is truly impossible to give to everyone without losing something from ourselves. If we looked at a successful business person like Sir Alan Sugar or the late Dame Anita Roderick, do you think they would say ‘YES’ when what they really meant to say was 'NO'! If we are to raise our own standards and self esteem the use of the word 'NO' has to be one of the greatest weapons in our armoury. It sends a powerful message to people around you, begins your journey to self empowerment, and tells everyone what you are willing to put up with in your life. It is important to understand that the key to greater confidence lies in building confidence in yourself and not in those around you and by not always submitting to their wants, power lies firmly in your hands and not with others. Now I’m not advocating saying ‘NO’ for the sake of it, so it will take practice, but once you have mastered listening to your internal voice and innate instinct the time you take to say YES or NO will become quicker. My Coaching Tip; If you feel that people catch you on the spot and your habit of saying ‘YES’ takes over, remember there is always a few words which will allow you some space to consider your decision!

The words, ‘I’ll get back to you on that, ok?’ will often give you the time required to ponder if, you are really up for their ask!

A good exercise to start with is to begin a journal and make a note of when you wished you could have said ‘NO’ to someone. Make a note of the following too;

• How many times a day or week is it happening?
• How does it make you feel afterwards?
• What is the worst that could have happened if you had said the word NO?
• What have you given up yourself in order for you to say YES?

A VERY IMPORTANT NOTE; Being popular because you are the one who never says 'NO', may be useful to the people around you but for you it is invisibly hammering your own self esteem and confidence. The people around you who accept, love and understand you will honour your decision and by saying 'No', will allow you more time and space to work on your own goals and dreams.
To help build your own self esteem and confidence use the word 'YES' when YOU WANT TO and never when someone else requires you to. With Christmas fast approaching and the impending pressure that it can bring, perhaps this blog is more appropriate than ever.......what do you think?....
Warmest wishes
Arran

Don't get SAD look after yourself...

Hi and welcome to this months coaching blog. How much is your general mood connected to low self esteem and a feeling of low confidence?

Who likes winter? Dark mornings and frost on your car can really get to you sometimes don't you think? These months ahead can be full of doom and gloom if you let it and it takes a little more effort to look after yourself in winter. Whether it is eating healthily or exercising, taking care of your body is essential to a healthy mind and spirit. In lasts months blog, I looked at ways to help build low self esteem and described the essential ingredient, of loving yourself. For some, with me included, the effects of winter can make loving yourself a little harder with the lack of sunshine and the onset of 'winter depression'.

The terms 'winter depression' and seasonal affective disorder (SAD) describe a form of depression that occurs in the winter months. Women are affected more often than men, and the prominent symptoms are lack of energy,irritability,overeating on carbohydrate food and the lack of interest in socialising. It is unusual for these symptoms to be of sufficient severity for them to be brought to the attention of doctors but for those individuals who do find that they need medical help, all the usual medication and psychological treatments may be tried. There have also been reports of successful treatment using exposure to bright light so if you can do a month in the southern hemisphere then go for it! There is a small proportion of people with regular winter depression who find that their mood does not simply return to normal in the spring/summer,and it is possible that these individuals have a seasonal bipolar affective disorder (seasonal manic depression).

What causes winter depression?

In some people the relationship to the seasons is simply because of stresses and difficulties that regularly happen for them at this time of year such as Christmas and the Eastenders omnibus.

Seriously though, it has been suggested that the release of a brain chemical (melatonin) may be involved. Melatonin release is influenced by exposure to light and can have an effect on several bodily rhythms . If you also suffer from low self esteem the effects of SAD can lower your defences and make you more likely to not to try and make the changes you so deserve.

How is SAD treated.

Through anti depression medication.

Psychological therapy.

Bright Light therapy.

If you feel you may be suffering from SAD, then I suggest you consult your doctor for the correct diagnosis and treatment. Thanks to Dr Henrik Dam for the information on SAD.

Here is a great quote I picked up this week.

'Self-improvement is great if it's done in a spirit of fun and creativity; however, if we are always feeling that we aren't good enough as we are, we will never be satisfied'.

Until next month

Arran